HE.S.T.A.F.T.A. - Scientific Society of Mental Health Professionals


"Mistaken Love" or “Functional Dance”?
When the "in relation to ..." in human relationships, ideas, as well as in the field of theoretical approaches, is not experienced as a functional interaction between the involved systems, but as a one-dimensional effect that looks like it was an interaction, then various forms of physical or psychic dysfunctions occur and the outcome does not justify the initial intentions. As the old saying goes,  ** "The road to hell is paved with good intentions ** .

Thus, according to  **N. Marketo’s ** article  ** The Toxic Forms of Love: Negative Consequences of Parental Care , ** as the parent-child system interacts, there are psychic parental processes and the occurring parental behavior, despite the love for the child, may be a non-nutritive, unsupportive environment for the child. Likewise - as the writer continues his thought - non-nutritional can be the intersection of systemic, psychoanalytic and other humanitarian ideas, when it occurs as a nice "dressing" of psychic phenomena.

Therefore, as  **M. Pakman ** says in the  ** Beyond Biology and Linguistics: F ** ** α ** ** ct, Uniqueness, Logic and the Work of Imagination ** , it is good to remember that "Preparing for something to happen requires someone to be in a situation, in which he is aware that the world order or the prevailing forces don’t have absolute control over the possible outcomes”. So we are talking, as  K. Theodorakis  says in the  ** Perses Aeschylus ** , about a "whole" in front of the unlikely and the unexpected, we are talking about an integrated “whole” full of antithesis and contradictions, or, as  **K. Charalambaki ** refers to it in the  ** Aeschylus "Perses": A Psychotherapeutic Reading ** , we are talking about an "acquaintance" of each other's contradictions, but always in the reality that contains the world’s order. If this does not happen, according to  K. Batsalias  in  Systemic Thought and some concerns about its implementation , we are being led to distortions of concepts, to non-responsible thesis, to emphasis on subtotal or οn individual and to obscuring of the essential principles.

A conscious place of modesty arises every time through the question, "What did I learn today?", as  G. Gournas  says in the presentation of the book  ** Memories & Reflections, Stories of Systemic Psychotherapy, Family Therapy Unit ** . It is a question which beyond modesty, wakes you up, provokes you to think further, is checking the “here and now” situation and demythologizes roles and situations. That's how the "go-around" begins and freedom and free will rest in this "passage". This is the place where the new and the different is born. Such a unique kind of deviation is the  _Family _ Τherapy Unit of the Psychiatric Hospital of Attica , a public mental health unit in the National Health System. It’s a public health service unit that seems to know how to find place each time, through social changes, in terms of responsibility and strong principles in the network of the Psychotherapeutic National Health System, in a constant dialectical “dance” between therapist and patient, between public service and large society, with awareness as a participant in a coexisting system. I loved you
I loved you so much
You were the reflection ... (L. Platonos)
"Mistaken love" or what else?

You have the opportunity not to find yourself in this distracting "mistaken love" way when you ask yourself,  ** _Who am I really? _ ** says  G. Anastasiadis  in  **the  _3+2 Years of Education and Supervision - Memories and Reflections from the Family _ ** ** Τ ** ** herapy Unit of the Psychiatric Hospital of Attica ** **. ** With such a question as its starting point, you begin the process, in “here and now” and “in relation to...” and then you leave behind images, information and pre-made “recipes” and share: experiences, anxiety, agony and the burden of responsibility for the people you have to take care of. This is the point at which clinical act begins, and theoretical knowledge comes afterwards.

** How “mistaken” can be a relationship? How toxic?   or **

** It is an issue of psychic and reality thesis? **

However, as  Ioannou  says in the  ** Time imprints of educational moments ** , it is a 20-year-old “dance”, but it is my own dance now: The initial educational “love”- meeting with the Family Therapy Unit has evolved into many different levels in a 20-year reflective path: it became a group of parents, a co-decision group, a parent support group, a group of psychic experience and process, a psychic path course, but always in my own way and within the systemic principles I was taught. It could evolve to "mistaken love" due to intense, one-dimensional, static, inflexible love. Instead, it evolved into a meeting between the systemic point of view and supervision with the contextual "here and now", needs, demands and interests. It became autonomy, integrative and initiative. It evolved into a dialectical dance of the new and different over the course of time, as people and society evolved.


On behalf of the Editorial Committee,

Dora Skali

Read the next article:

ARTICLE 2/ ISSUE 14, April 2019

Toxic Forms of Love: Negative Consequences of Parental Care

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